Let’s Talk About “SELF LOVE”

So, the issue of “self love” has been on my mind to write about for a while now and I thought; the best time to write about it is NOW. I’m sick and tired of seeing people’s captions on Social Media as;
“#self love”
“love yourself”
“only me matter”
“me, myself and I”
“my life, my rules”
“I am King”
“I love me” e.t.c

Everything they ever post about is me, myself and I. If you’re one of those that can’t do without using or thinking any of these captions, you need Jesus.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not against this concept. I mean, I’m a petite 28 year old female, I’m not exactly big in all ramifications and when people look at me, they tell me they love my body which is something I’ve been struggling with for a while now. Thus, I’ve been learning to love my body. So, you see, I’ve got my own physical insecurities as well as other life insecurities too. Also, a fat person could be learning to love themselves to reject the societal misconception of the true meaning of “beautiful”, a dark skinned woman/man confesses self love daily with the “melanin” mantra cos they are now embracing that black is beautiful, a tailor sings “self love” while riding the machine cos he/she has learnt to think beyond the name to the status of “fashion designer’ and so on and so forth. All of these are positive vibes, however, I have issues with the way people abuse the meaning of “Self Love”

Let’s at least understand the literal meaning of self love; it is what it is, the love of one’s self. Going further to understand what it stands for, it is basically the promotion of a high self esteem for individuals to love themselves regardless of their flaws, to believe in themselves and to see themselves capable of greatness. This is basically to kill depression, hopelessness as well as the “I am not enough” syndrome that could eventually lead to a mental breakdown, suicide attempts or suicide itself. But what we have these days; sadly, is contrary to the true meaning of this concept.

Self love now means vanity, selfishness and narcissism. It is now extreme obsession with the self regardless of the negative impact a “self love” decision could have on others. Self love is now a moral flaw and it is upsetting when you see people displaying this stupidity with such relish like they are doing the world a favor by being selfish.

Please,

1. self love is not you hoarding money from your friends and then going ahead to lavish it on yourself cos you feel you deserve to be spoilt extravagantly.
2. Self love is not you being mean to others and then being over the top nice to yourself. That’s selfishness.
3. Self love is not you being petty all the time, that’s your lack of emotional intelligence.
4. Self love is not being too proud to regard people as being humans just like you, that ‘s you being egoistic.
5. Self love is not you seeing yourself as always blameless while others are always wrong, that’s you being manipulative.
6. Self love is not you deriving pleasure in always breaking the rules,
7. It is not you projecting a trophy image of yourself to people while you project a false image of others,
8. It isn’t you having an entitlement mentality, always wanting to be treated specially than others, always wanting people to pity you and be considerate to you while you aren’t to others, or always wanting a preferential treatment than others
9. Self love is not you being very charismatic and persuasive with people for your own self gratification. You tend to show false interest in people just because you want to get something from them and the moment you do, you drop them without a second thought.
10. Self love is not you having an exaggerated sense of self importance. You always feel that without you or your “magnificent” contributions to people’s lives, they can’t survive.
11. Self love is not you spreading negative emotions like throwing tantrums or getting upset at the slightest opportunity because you aren’t getting any attention.
12. Self love is not you being too quick to judge, blame, criticize or name tag while you are extremely sensitive to criticism. You never want to hear that you’re wrong
13. Self love isn’t you being unapologetically manipulative. You always use people as an extension of yourself. You always spread guilt and want people to always be indebted to you. You want people to sacrifice their all for you just because, in your tiny little head, you think “I DESERVE IT ALL”
14. Self love is not you consistently cheating on your partner and then feeling hurt when they do it back at you.